A Squirrel's Tail (Tale)

Edited From a Journal Entry - February 27, 2009

I was in tears…I AM in tears this morning…sitting at my computer, praying…odd place, I know, but lately I pray EVERYWHERE and for EVERYTHING…it is how I MUST live…it is how I SHOULD live!!!

An hour earlier, at 7:00, I had received and sent a series of emails that had me...well, in tears obviously. EVERYTHING in life was dwelling heavily on my soul. Physical, serious financial difficulties, employment worries, personal attacks, family, single parenting, fear of failing God, separation from friends, working two part time jobs but needing a full time with benefits...all I want is to be able to provide for my family!!! Millions of questions and concerns on my heart and mind this morning…usually I am more at peace than this. With a heavy heart, I decided to at least try to put some clothes and makeup on so I didn’t scare anyone…red nose and puffy, swollen eyes with dark circles under them are so becoming! I had things to do, places to go, and people to see.

As I was heading upstairs, I glanced out the window that runs the length of my front door from top to bottom, and there at the foot of the steps was a squirrel with something big and brown in its mouth. It looked like a small animal, but I thought, “No, Kathi, squirrels are NOT carnivores”. I actually smiled and thought, "but then again, it does seem like they will eat anything!" It made me laugh out loud…which was therapeutic in and of itself…nothing like a good laugh to keep your spirits up. Then I heard God speaking through that little squirrel. Not “out loud” of course, it was not a dramatic representation of Balaam’s donkey…but He was speaking to my spirit. The squirrel was looking really hard at me, but didn’t run away. I realized that what he (or she…kinda hard to tell, you know) had in his mouth was a huge chunk of brown bread. The thing was bigger than his head. I wondered where on earth he could have gotten something like that…probably out of someone’s garbage can, since it was trash day…or maybe it was thrown out into someone’s yard, intended for the birds…or maybe just intended for whatever critter happened to snatch it up. It really didn’t matter…God was speaking. “I will provide…I will provide…for your needs and the needs of your family.” Tears coursed down my cheeks…”Yes, Lord, I know…You have been my provision for so many years…You have provided when I thought there was nothing…You and I have history, experiences, so much, so much, and so, so many times, You have blessed me…I know…I remember.” By this time the squirrel had given up watching me...he probably thought, “Stupid woman, what’s your problem,”… and was wandering around my flower bed no doubt looking for a place to bury the bread. I always wonder if they remember where half of the stuff they bury is…I know I wouldn’t and I like to think I am more intelligent than a squirrel!!! I guess the bread was too big, which therefore meant he would have to dig a tremendous hole, which would have been a lot of work first thing in the morning, or maybe he was just really hungry…I don’t know, but whatever the reason, he decided to jump up into the bottom branch of a dogwood tree and eat the entire chunk right there on the spot.

You know, that little squirrel had no clue when he woke up this morning where his breakfast would come from. He had no idea whether or not he would have to forage for it himself or if it would be the gift of a benevolent human. He had no clue…but God provided. He got up and went about his business of finding food, and there God was…providing through an unlikely source. Again, I like to think I am a little more intelligent than a squirrel but this morning, I was worried…something I am not normally prone to. “Today” is a new day that I have been given. Today, I will trust. Today, I will praise God because today, I have all I need. Today, I remember that there are many so much worse off than me. Today, I acknowledge that God is faithful. Today, I choose to serve Him. Today, I will stand firm and be of good courage because my God goes before me and He will deliver me, comfort me and provide for me. Today, I seek Him first, knowing He has the answers, knowing He loves me, and knowing He is working everything out for the good…according to HIS plan, not mine.

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?...But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 8:25-27, 33, 34)